(no subject)
Soooo....I'm slightly freaked out by the fact that I'm not freaked out at all over the blood in vomit thingy. Has it really gotten that bad? LOL...i think i'm going round the twist. I'm trying to lose like 10 pounds, then another 10 but bulimia doesn't actually help with this. I've also started chain-smoking, so running is really difficult....:( I think my body really hates me these days....

im trying to keep away from the kitchen lol
[ ] I am shorter than 5'4".
[X] I think I'm ugly sometimes.
[ ] I have many scars.
[ ] I tan easily.
[ ] I wish my hair was a different color.
[X] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[ ] I have a tattoo.
[X] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[ ] I had braces.
[ ] I wear glasses.
[X] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[X] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
[X] I have more than 2 piercings.
[X] I have piercings in places besides my ears.
[X (some)] I have freckles.

[ ] I've sworn at my parents.
[ ] I've run away from home.
[ ] I've been kicked out of the house.
[ ] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[X] I want to have kids someday.
[ ] I've had children.
[ ] I've lost a child.

[X] I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation.
[X] Disney movies still make me cry.
[ ] I've peed from laughing.
[X] I've snorted while laughing.
[X] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[X] I've glued my hand to something
[X] I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
[ ] I've had my trousers rip in public.

[X] I'm single.
[ ] I'm in a relationship.
[ ] I'm engaged.
[ ] I'm married.
[ ] I've gone on a blind date.
[ ] I've been the dumpee more than the dumper.
[ ] I miss someone right now.
[ ] I have a fear of abandonment.
[ ] I've cheated in a relationship.
[ ] I've gotten divorced.
[ ] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[ ] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
[ ] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
[ ] I've kept something from a past relationship.

[ ] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[X] I've had a crush on a teacher.
[X] I am a cuddler.
[ ] I've been kissed in the rain.
[X] I've hugged a stranger.
[X] I have kissed a stranger.

[X] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
[X] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[X] I've snuck out of my house.
[X] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[ ] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[X] I've cheated while playing a game.
[X] I've cheated on a test.
[ ] I've been suspended from school.

[X] I've consumed alcohol.
[X] I regularly drink.
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[X] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem.
[ ] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
[X] I shut others out when I'm upset.
[ ] I take anti-depressants.
[X] I *have* anorexic or bulimic *tendencies* or have EDNOS*tendencies*.
[ ] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.
[X] I've hurt myself on purpose.
[ ] I'm addicted to self harm.
[X] I've woken up crying.

Age? 17

Height? 5'7"

Weight? 104

Lowest Weight? 87

Highest Weight? 120

What weight do you want to weigh? 97

What eating disorder do you have? I was diagnosed with anorexia.....people said i was bulimic but thats bp ing......i just didnt wanna eat

How many calories do you eat in a day, on average? 900

Do you throw up your food on occasion? yes

Do you want to look like a supermodel/actress? No

Are you in some sort of extracurricular sport, ie soccer or track? Ballet, gym, yoga

Has anyone ever teased you about your weight? yes for being skinny (i loved it really!)

Have you ever fasted? yeah 3 days max......usually 1 day. not often though

Do you take laxatives to get rid of food/calories? no

Are you 'inspired' by models/actresses? yes

Have you ever been hospitalised for your ED? no

Have you ever ingested Ipecac to induce vomiting? No

Have you ever tried to recover from your eating disorder? yes.....i lasted a bit too

Body Image Q's

Do you constantly see yourself as fat, even though others say you are not? yes

What part of your body would you change? thighs, calves, hips, ass, stomach, cheeks....

a scale of 1-10, how happy are you with your body? meh.....3?

Do you judge your value/merit solely on your weight/body? sometimes

Because of your body appearance/weight, have you become severely depressed? yes

Do you constantly compare your bodies to supermodels/actresses? yes


Do you think you eat healthy enough? i guess......small portions though

Are you morbidly afraid to eat carbs? sorta

Fat grams? yes

Calories? yes

Are you often tired/fatigued? all the time

Do you feel more energized after eating food? depends what it is

Do you eat meat? No.

Do you eat your food in a certain way? no

Do people tell you you look sick or famished? yes

Have you ever thrown up blood? No.

Is your heart bpm above 49? yes

Do you have fainting spells from lack of eating? used to havent lately

Do you think the media is at fault for the prevalence of eating disorders? yeah probably

Your opinion of Pro-Ana? addictive.....supportive but a bad influence on really young people

Do you have any other mental disorders? brief spell of bulimia......other than that no

What's your favourite food to eat? peanut butter. anything that tastes good on the way up.....like marzipan!! mmmmm

Drink? water, diet coke, sugarfree redbull, vodka

Do you often wish you didn't have an ED? yes

Do you want to recover? not right now.

imna try and burn my ass off at the gym now
im curious what do people do?? i tend to do treadmill and cross trainer......and really light weights with high reps. what yous all do??

Im a fat disgusting blobby bitch and i want to disappear. Im so frustrated right now. i spent the day running around my kitchen throwing everything away that might tempt my greedy evil side. i scooped a shit load of pb and nutella onto napkins and threw them in the bin. lol. i kept on eating it from the jar though :(:( im fat and im gross!!! im a lump of lard and i wish i could get a knife and cut chunks off myself because i would feel better. i am a globule of fat cells and i wish i could reshape myself. i wish my thighs would not touch at all ever i hate that feeling. my calves are really muscular ahhhh.......my gut is bloated and huge and i hate myself......i want to melt into the ground.

Im worthless unless i lose 10 pounds pronto!!!! then ill be happy. though of course i wont i know myself only too well. ill want more gone. but anything is better than this.

stomach bug
imna pretend i have a stomach bug tomorrow and easter.....anyone else with me?? im grosssssss.....i need more pills. but im grounded!!!!! ahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i want some weed tooo.....

Ahhhhhh im new to this
Im compeletley technologically retarted.......does anyone feel my pain??


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